"The Weight of My Weight"
The stress of "Losing Weight" is something I have lived with for as long as I can remember. Even at my lowest weight, when I feel so much better, I know I'm not done, and the road is longer. I don't remember a day that I didn't get out of bed and my weight wasn't my first thought when my feet hit the floor. My weight is on my mind when dressing, when cooking, when shopping, when vacationing, when meal planning, when exercising, when eating. Hopefully one day that will change.
I certainly live a happy life, and I think my personality has allowed me to be able to put those thoughts to the side throughout the day and truly live. I know I am a naturally happy person that likes to have a good time, make people laugh and experience all that life has to offer whenever I can. So I hope I don't sound extremely depressing. When I am writing the blog, my weight and my struggles with it are on my mind the most, and my deepest thoughts regarding it come out. The purpose of the blog is to be honest, share, and maybe let someone else know they are not alone in their own struggles.
Well, I said I had stopped beating myself up, but I am truly not looking forward to weighing in today. If I am no longer 160 something, I am going to feel extremely defeated. I know it may sound ridiculous, since I am only talking about 1 or 2 pounds, but they are critical pounds, pounds I really had to fight to get off, and in one afternoon of bad decisions, I feel certain they are back. I know they will come off. I will never quit. I will get to 150 pounds. But the breakthrough to see 160 something was a really hard task and a huge accomplishment, and now I have to do it all over again. I woke up every morning this week and went to my scale, which never says exactly what WW scale says, but close enough for me to know that I did gain. I have been super cranky, short tempered and irritable all week. When I go to my meeting today, I am going to opt for the "No Weigh-In" pass. It's not something I would recommend doing often, but today I know I need the meeting, but don't want my WW book to have 170 something printed in it. I have a plan for the week that will bring me back to the 160's, and then I can continue.
I know for me to be successful, I have to have a plan.
Here is the plan for this week........
1. no alcohol
2. lots of water
3. 6 days of exercise
4. no dipping into those extra points
5. lots of fruits and veggies and lean protein.
Here are yesterday's eats.....
Oatmeal Banana Pancake
Lunch was an apple, string cheese and cinnamon almonds.
Dinner......Grilled Chicken, baked fries and salad topped with Parmesan cheese.
"love the life you live, live the life you love"